Imagine being able to live and work better with everyone!
Imagine a life of reduced stress because relationship dramas are rare.
Is that possible?
It is, but it requires work and the hardest type of work… work on ourselves. Work that most of us don’t want to do. That’s why change doesn’t happen often and we find ourselves back with the same dilemmas and problems but with courage and determination you can live a happier easier life full of fulfilling relationships.
This work requires an open mind and a willingness to understand at a deeper level how your brain and psyche work and how it can, and does derail us. For example, being a victim for any length of time is your brain trying to take short cuts and not use energy to think of a more creative way to look at the circumstances. Your brain thinks it must conserve energy to cope with any threat that may be coming around the next corner. It doesn’t want you to think carefully because that takes too much energy and it wants to conserve what it has for any emergency that may occur.
Why does this happen? Our brain, like all organs has evolved over millions of years increasing in complexity and capacity. As newer abilities came online, they didn't necessarily replace older systems so our brains work in multiple layers. Some of these we are aware of, and some of them operate behind the scenes.
I like to look at it in three separate stages. The first stage was laid down when we emerged from the sea as reptiles. I call this the crocodile brain. Clinically it is known as the unconscious. It is the largest most powerful part of our brain and it controls about 95% of all our thoughts and actions. Its prime function is to ensure our survival. We can sometimes recognise it as instinct.
Our 'crocodile brain' influences all our behaviour, beliefs and thoughts. It governs every motivation and emotion we have. It affects everything from relationships to our success in life. Yet most of us are unaware of its presence, let alone its power, because it operates below the surface. It doesn't have the ability to rationalise, instead it is reactionary and initiates extremely fast responses which serve us well in our bid to survive. This part of our brain is working when you instinctively jump at the sight of a snake, only to realise a few seconds later, it was actually a harmless piece of black gardening pipe! However, the crocodile brain is up to much more than we realise.
The next level in our brain's evolution was our 'horse brain' or limbic system, which controls our emotions. The last and newest part of our brain is the neo cortex, that’s our conscious thinking part which we mistakenly think of as the part we all use all the time. And if we did our relationships would work much better, because it is rational, logical and self-aware!
We get into strife because our unconscious or crocodile brain generally runs our show and causes havoc in it's bid for survival. When we really understand how this part of our brain works we have greater control, so we don’t lose our temper so easily and say stuff that we often regret later.
The next stage of understanding why relationships go wrong is realizing how this crocodile brain gets programmed. Yes, believe it or not we are all programmed from the time we are born by our parents, caregivers and early environment and this programming continues to run throughout our lives. The way we think and what we think is usually laid down before the age of 5 or 6, before our rational logical brain develops. Imagine driving a car 20 or 30 years old or more, well that is what most of us are doing, working with outdated thinking and antiquated technology. Often the thoughts you are having about a situation are not even your own thoughts, they originally came from your programming…
So ask yourself, do you really want a 5 year old running the show? No I didn't think so, the good news is, the brain is exceptionally 'plastic' which means we can mould it, change itand improve our programming to be more in line with who we choose to be, we can be more conscious, strong, rational & resilient and have happier, more fulfilling lives.
Scary stuff but knowledge brings empowerment. That is what I aim to bring you.
It's my job to be your guide and help you navigate that change and set down a new blueprint. Together we can identify when and where your programming is taking you awry. and overwrite it. At times it can be tough and scary, but remember, knowledge brings empowerment and this is one journey that can sincerely change your life for the better.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: If I undertook therapy what effects would I see in my life?
A: You would become more aware of what is going on at a deeper level and identify when and where your programming is taking you awry and overwrite it.
Q: Is it expensive?
A: This is one journey that can sincerely change your life for the better so ultimately it is not expensive but each session is about the cost of a reasonable meal for two. Therapy is an individual process, call or send me a private message to chat about rates, health care rebates and we can work out the program that is right for you
Q: How do you know this brain stuff really works?
A: It’s like any learning, when you understand how something works you feel empowered and your brain is no different. The proof then comes when your relationships improve.